Well, training did not go as I had hoped. Scheduling conflicts, various injuries, sickness-it seemed like every week there was something that caused me to miss a workout, or shorten a long run, or cut out my speed work. Part of what I love about ultrarunning is that your success depends in large part on how you handle challenges that come your way, both in training and on race day. Overcoming obstacles is at least as important, if not moreso, than your athletic ability. Even so, when race day arrived I was feeling unprepared. I felt like I had only reached about 80% of the fitness level I was aiming for. And there was a large section of the course (Floyd's Field to Bearwallow) that I hadn't been able to see, because Dr. Horton had a bike wreck and had to cancel that training run on short notice.
Leading up to the race, the weather forecast got warmer and warmer. I was very thankful for this honestly. My biggest fear about Hellgate was getting "Hellgate eyes", which sounded absolutely awful. Personally, I'd rather deal with a warm day than frozen eyeballs, so I was grateful for the "Sissygate" forecast.
Friday night, Melissa picked up me and Alissa and a month's worth of food and drinks, and we drove up to the camp. Melissa would be crewing both me and Alissa for the race. We drove up to arrive at 8:00 for the race briefing, but in his excitement Dr. Horton had started the meeting early and we walked in just in time to hear, "Well, that's all my points..." Oh well.
We spent some time visiting with other runners, the nervous excitement thick and everyone trying to occupy the time before we drove to the start. I talked to people, and then around 10:00 I started gathering up my pack and supplies, double-checking that I had everything I needed and nothing I didn't think was worth carrying for 66 miles. Knowing it would be warm, I decided to keep the bladder in my pack filled with tailwind, and I also used an 8oz softflask so I could grab a second type of drink from the aid stations. I had a few snacks, my mp3 player, my index cards with notes about the course sections and my goal times, and gloves. It wasn't cold yet, but I thought that when we got higher up in elevation later in the night that I would probably want them.
10:40 finally arrived, and there was a burst of frenetic activity as everyone grabbed their race supplies and squeezed into the caravan of vehicles driving to the start. The bank at Natural Bridge said the temperature was 46 degrees as we drove by. It was nice that we could stand outside before the start and not freeze. I had a lot of thoughts along the lines of, "What am I thinking?" which is typical for me at a race start.
I had come up with these split goals, based on splits I had found online (thanks Keith Knipling and Darin), and giving my best guess as to how much time I should allow for each section. Now of course, knowing you should run at a 14 minute pace, and actually being able to run at a 14 minute pace, are not the same thing. But I figured I would know throughout the day if I was on track. During the training run, we ran from the start to Headforemost Mountain in 6:07. My first big goal for race day was to be there by 6 hours. My race strategy was basically to run as hard as I could, for as long as I could, run-walking all the hills, and hope to bank enough time that if I hit a rough spot I could recover and still finish.
We all gathered at the start line, and Dr. Horton counted down to GO. We all took off, to the cheers of the other runners and crew who were there. Here we go!!
Start to AS1 (FSR 35) 0:48
It was very warm at the start, and I appreciated that my legs didn't feel stiff or numb like they usually do at the beginning of a cold run. I worked hard on staying in the pack of runners and not just drifting to the back like I usually do. I knew from the training run that none of the hills here were steep or long, so I ran as much as possible. On the downhills, I was feeling strong and passed quite a few people. I was happy to bank some time where I could. The miles went by pretty quickly here. I chatted with other runners, enjoyed the commentary about the stench of the water in the creek, and pushed myself. Even though I arrived at the first aid station a few minutes after my goal, I was pleased, because I was still in a big pack of people and I was feeling strong.
AS1 (FSR 35) to AS2 (Petites Gap) 1:46
This section is a long uphill road. I focused on run/walking the whole way up, counting my steps to run for a long section, then walk just enough to recover. Knowing there are a lot of uphill roads in this race, I had tried to train on running uphill roads, so I feel like this is one place my training did help. I made decent time up the road and was pleased with how my legs were feeling so far. At Petites, I got to see Melissa for the first time. She helped me fill up quickly and head back out on the trail. Familiar faces are such a boost in ultras!
AS2 (Petites Gap) to AS 3 (Camping Gap) 3:28
Leaving Petites, we had a short downhill section. I was nervous about the rocks and things under the leaves, but I was able to stay close enough behind some other runners to watch their footing and use that to my advantage. I think I made better time on the downhill part here than during the training run. After that, there is a section of single track that goes uphill. This was the first part (but definitely not the last) that seemed to take forever. I kept watching for the road that I know leads up to Camping Gap. Finally, we reached it and did the long climb. Once again, I pushed myself to run/walk as much as possible, with short walking breaks in between longer sections of running. As much as I wanted to walk, my legs were feeling strong still and I knew I had to hussle to make my 6 hour goal. The Camping Gap aid station was a welcome site, and I made sure to take a minute there to drink a lot, and take some food with me, since the next section is the longest between aid stations.
AS3 (Camping Gap) to AS 4 (Headforemost Mountain) 6:01
The first few miles of this section are pretty runnable, and once again I tried to push myself to run as much as possible. It wasn't easy; I had some stomach issues here, and some cramps. I was losing my mind a little bit in here too-maybe the fatigue/sleep deprivation, maybe the hours of night running, I'm not sure. But I saw many many pairs of eyes in the woods just off the trail, heard many large animals, and saw a few people sitting on logs on the side of the trail. I'm pretty sure none of them were real. I expected this to be the section where it got cold, but it never did, and the grassy road section known for its fierce wind many years was completely still.
My first year of running ultras, I would go out way too fast and then hit a wall in the second half. But as I learned to pace myself, I think I tend to err on the side of caution, and don't run as hard as I often could. Holiday Lake this year I used as an experiment. I ran as hard as I could for as long as I could to see what would happen. And honestly, it wasn't until the last climb in that race, a little over a mile to go, that I reached the point of not being able to run.
I was thinking about that as I ran here. I knew that Hellgate would be a tough race, and I wasn't sure I could finish. But if I was going to miss a cutoff, I wanted to know that I had pushed myself the whole way, so there would be no wondering if I could have done better. With that in mind, I hauled tail the entire way up the mountain. And I arrived at 6:01! Honestly, I was thrilled. That was faster than we had run on the training run and I still felt good. Melissa was at Headforemost, but she was still helping other runners, not expecting me to arrive yet. That made me smile. :) I filled my pack with more tailwind and drank more ginger ale, grabbed some food, and headed out.
AS4 (Headforemost Mountain) to AS5 (Jennings Creek) 7:28
I was looking forward to this section and I was scared of this section at the same time. I was nervous because this began the section I had never seen, and going into the race I was pretty confident that I would make it through the Headforemost Mountain cutoff, that it was the second portion of the race and the Bearwallow cutoff I was concerned about. At the same time, I knew that Jennings Creek was the breakfast aid station, which I was excited about, and every race report talked about running DOWN to Jennings Creek, which after doing mostly climbing for the last 6 hours, sounded amazing. You can imagine my disappointment when the first section turned out to be a climb! Thankfully, it was short, and after that we did indeed run down most of the way to Jennings Creek. Shortly after the aid station we passed an elderly man hiking uphill in the dark with two walking sticks. That startled me, and I wondered if I had imagined him too until I confirmed with another runner that she also saw him. Strange.
I was glad to have read race reports about this section, because after about 2 miles I caught site of the aid station down the mountain, and it sure seemed like we would be there soon. But we weren't. We wandered around and around the mountain, in every direction possible except for towards the aid station. Still, the footing was good, the trails were nice, and I was able to run almost the entire section. The sun came up here, and I underestimated the mental boost that would give me today. I felt like a brand new person. I was running well, running downhill (which helps me feel like superwoman anyway), enjoying the trails, and now the sun was up and I could see the beautiful mountains we were in. This section was a real highlight of the race for me. I entered it exhausted and nervous, but then I got to Jennings Creek 20 minutes ahead of when I expect to be there, and at Jennings Creek there was bacon! Oh happy day! When I came in to the aid station, Alissa was still there, and she was looking pretty good at that point. I was quite proud of myself for catching up to her, because she is a very strong runner. Melissa made sure we both got what we needed. I stopped to drink a lot at the aid station again, and took some bacon and hash browns to go.
AS5 (Jennings Creek) to AS 6 (Little Cove) 9:18
For the first time in the race, I started to relax a little bit. Knowing I had just banked 20 minutes was huge-now I felt like if I had to stop and pee, I could, without worrying about that making the difference at the cutoff. This section was a really pretty section-it started off with a long road climb with beautiful views off to the side. I pushed myself to continue the run/walk plan up the hill. After the gate, we started on a single track trail downhill, and then before I knew it there was a road going downhill. This was a perfect running road-compacted dirt and gravel, and a wonderful downhill angle. I felt amazing running down this road, and for the first time all day began to believe I might actually finish the race. I was a little sad to turn off the road onto another trail! Eventually we reached the bottom and made the turn onto Yellowstone Road, which begins the long road climb up to Little Cove. I continued to run/walk, although my walking breaks were getting a little longer at this point and it was getting harder to push myself. This section felt pretty long, and I was so happy to finally see the aid station! And when I looked at the time, I was thrilled. I had banked another 15 minutes against my goals. Never did I think I would be so far ahead of my goal pace. The cutoff at Bearwallow didn't seem nearly so intimidating. I just needed to keep running steady. I drank a lot at the aid station (definitely becoming a theme) and then headed back out towards Bearwallow.
AS 6 (Little Cove) to AS 7 (Bearwallow Gap) 11:32
I knew that my husband was going to try to bring the kids out to Bearwallow. I told him I didn't think there was any way I'd be there before noon, but he said they'd get there around 11:30 so my son could help with drop bags (his favorite thing to do at aid stations). As I went through this section, I realized there was a chance I could beat him to Bearwallow. I felt bad that I had no way of letting him know, but fairly proud of myself at the same time. I was really having a great day. I was even having fun!
My notes said that the first mile out of Little Cove was runnable downhill, but once again, it started out climbing. The climb was short though, and then the trail did indeed go downhill. This was a very pretty section of single track and grassy trail. I was nervously awaiting the so-called "devil trail", which I knew led into Bearwallow. A few times I'd go through a rocky section of single track and wonder if this was already it, and then it would smooth out. At one point we made a turn onto a trail and that trail was noticeably more rocky. Here we are, I thought. This was a pretty tough section of trail. I saw a few people fall, and I took a hard fall myself. Thankfully nothing was bleeding or badly bruised and I was able to keep going. The last quarter mile or so was such a tease; we had crossed the road and I could see the sign for the entrance to the parking lot, but then we wandered around in zig zags every which way before we actually entered the parking lot.
I was beyond excited to arrive when I did. Melissa and Kathie were there, and helped me change my socks, get food, refill my pack, etc. Can I just say that having a crew is an amazing gift! The aid station volunteers are wonderful, and we couldn't do these races without them. But there's something special about having friends out there supporting you personally on these crazy endeavors. I asked Melissa to tell Jeremy I'd already been through so he wouldn't keep waiting, and to tell him I'm so sorry I missed him! Then it was back to the trail, uphill of course.
AS 7 (Bearwallow Gap) to AS 8 (Bobblets Gap) 13:26
As always, this section had plenty of climbing. I was thankful to have seen it during a training run. This part seems to go on forever, repeating over and over-climb a long uphill around a ridge, turn the corner, run a slight downhill, then turn the other way, repeat. The nice thing is that each climb gets a little less steep, so it sort of feels like you're repeating the same trail, but getting a little stronger each time. My legs were getting tired here, but I kept pushing myself to run wherever I could. I had to back off on the rocky sections because I was starting to stumble a lot-no agility left in my legs. When the footing was good I did push myself to run. The views were very pretty along here, overlooking the valley, although I don't think I enjoyed them as much because I was so tired. Two ladies passed me in this section talking about trying to make their 17 hour finish-were we really on pace for that?? I started to daydream about what that would look like. I kept doing the math, and I would need to average something like a 16 minute mile for the rest of the course, which almost sounded doable at that point. Even short of that, it looked like I would at least avoid the need to sprint a 6 minute mile at the end to make it into the camp on time, and I was very thankful for that.
This section was long, and I was very impatiently awaiting the aid station. Because of the turns in the trail, you can't see or hear the aid station until you're right there. When I came around the corner, my son was there, ringing a cowbell!! And then my daughter ran up! Jeremy was there, and it was so great to see him and the kids. What a huge encouragement! This was another high point in the race for me-I was running very well, almost a full hour ahead of my goals, and my husband and kids were there to see me doing well. Melissa and Alissa (much to my surprise) were at the aid station and helped me get food and something to drink. Blake was working this aid station, and he had a cooler full of ice-amazing!! I drank some ice cold water, and then dumped a bunch of ice into my bra. That helped so much to cool me off, because I was feeling pretty hot at this point. The high ended up being in the mid 70s, and I was running hard and feeling it. I left the aid station with a great sendoff from my family and friends.
AS 8 (Bobblets Gap) to AS 9 (Day Creek) 15:49
The first part of this section is a very washed out road, which I ran/walked because I was no longer nimble enough to hop over the millions of rocks, holes, and ravines that made up the road. Then it opens to a gravel road. I ran the entire road down, and although my legs were definitely tired, I still felt pretty good. As I turned into the single track though, it was like a switch flipped and my body just said, "Aaaand we're done." Suddenly my legs were like lead weights, and I couldn't eat anything anymore, and I was so tired. My tailwind started making me feel thirstier every time I took a sip, so I stopped drinking. By late in this section I was getting very dehydrated and felt like I was on the verge of passing out. I remember promising myself that I would sit in a chair at Day Creek, because at least if I passed out there, there would be people to get me back up and make sure I finished the race. This was the lowest I have ever felt in any race. I was overwhelmed, discouraged, and disappointed. I had run so well up to this point, and now the wheels had fallen off. I wondered why I was out there, and if I should even have attempted this race. It was like the heat, exhaustion, distance, and infamous "forever section" had all twisted into one big nasty black hole and sucked me in. The trail in this section is very disorienting, turning in every direction, and there aren't many landmarks, so it feels like you're making very little progress. At one point, I was pretty certain that I had accidentally looped back and was never actually going to leave the course. My Garmin gave me the low battery beep here, and for awhile I was convinced that it had actually stopped recording because it seemed like it said the same distance every time I looked at it. I considered curling up on the trail and taking a nap. It was not pretty.
At this point, I was so grateful to the previous, strong runner me, who had banked enough time that I could walk and still believe there was time to get to the finish. For the first time all day, I covered miles that took more than 20 minutes. It was very slow and ugly. Mentally, I knew that I still had time to finish, and I knew that quitting was not an option. I would finish. But I hate finishing a race on a death march.
Finally, somehow, I made it to the Day Creek aid station in terrible shape. I mumbled something about needing to sit down and drink a lot of water. I had Melissa dump out the rest of the tailwind in my pack, and fill it with water instead. I took everything out of my pack that I didn't need for the last section. I kept water, salt pills, and one Stinger waffle, hoping I'd be able to eat it (wishful thinking). Alissa was so encouraging, pointing out that I had two hours to cover 6 miles, so even if I walked the whole thing I would make it. They did exactly what I needed then-they let me sit and rest for a few minutes, rehydrate, and then they got me back out on the trail. I was so very thankful to have friends there-the aid station crew is fabulous, but I needed the familiar faces telling me I could do this.
AS 9 (Day Creek) to Finish 17:44
I headed out of the aid station and promptly vomited most of the water I had drank while sitting in the chair. So much for hydration. Too bad, have to keep moving anyway. I slogged up the hill which seemed to be about 700 miles long. I know that in reality, this hill is not that terrible, but I was physically spent at that point. My legs just laughed at me when I considered running. So I trudged along, focusing on taking one step at a time. From the training run, I knew that there was a historical marker shortly before you can see the gate where you cross the parkway at the top of the hill. It seemed like forever, but after about 45 minutes, there was the marker. Hooray, that means we're almost there. A few more minutes of hiking and finally, the gate came into view. I have never been so excited to see a metal gate or hear the sound of traffic!! At the top, there was a most blessed gift, a person with a cooler of ice cold water bottles. That was exactly what I needed in that moment. And I knew that I had three miles to go, they really are all downhill, and I had just over an hour to do them. Even in my sad state, I was pretty confident that I could do that. I was hoping to run most of it, since the footing is pretty decent. But for the first section, there were just enough rocks that I was sure I would slip and fall off the mountain. Plus, when I tried to run, it felt like my legs were about to break off at the hips. So I quick-walked down, and jogged a few steps when I could, until my legs loosened up a bit again. Then I did my same run-walk approach down the hill. Never thought I would be using that on a downhill. Normally I love downhill finishes, but when you have no legs left, downhill can be just as tough as climbing.
Finally, we reached the gravel road section, and I forced myself to jog as much as possible. Even jogging, I was moving pretty slowly, like a 14 minute pace. But I was moving and I was happy to be running again. Many many walking breaks in this section. Not pretty. But forward progress and the finish line was ever so close. As I came down the mountain, I saw Melissa coming up. She was excited to see me, and gave me a last boost of encouragement. I was almost to the 1 mile to go sign, and I still had half an hour. I was really going to do this!!
I ran most of the way until I came up around the side of the camp. I knew that no matter how exhausted I was, once I entered the gates of the camp, I was running to the finish, and I wanted to rest for a minute first! At last, I turned through the gates to the camp. It was dark, and hard to spot the reflective markers, so I was very thankful for the people standing at one particular intersection calling me to come the right way. And then, there it was-that orange tape finishers chute leading to the race clock. As I came up, they asked for my number (it was dark, and my headlamp prevented them from seeing my face). Then Dr. Horton greeted me at the finish with, "WHOA!!!! NO WAY!!! I didn't give you a chance at all to finish!!" That was a pretty great feeling, honestly. Dr. Horton is a legend, and he is really good at predicting what runners will be able to do. Being able to exceed his expectations is a huge achievement.
I stayed at the finish for the next 15 minutes to watch the rest of the runners finish, which worked out well since I could hardly move anyway. There was a big group that came in with about 5 minutes to spare, so exciting to see them beat the clock!! Everyone had suffered that day. The race was no longer Sissygate, it was too hot for that. "Hotter than Hellgate" seemed to be sticking. I was so exhausted that I forgot to get the finish line photo with Dr. Horton, my one regret from this race.
This race was the hardest race I've ever run, with the highest highs and the lowest lows. For awhile I ran a much stronger race than I expected, and then I had a breakdown I never saw coming. I went from being afraid of missing the 12:30pm cutoff, to daydreaming about a 17 hour finish, to slogging ten miles on dead legs. But I finished!! I am so thankful for all the aid station volunteers, for Melissa, who is the most amazing crew ever, for Alissa and Kathie helping me at aid stations, for Jeremy coming out with the kids to see me running, and for Dr. Horton creating this beast of a race and giving me a chance to run it. It certainly was a "special" experience that brought every bit of the challenge promised, even if it wasn't what we expected. I'm so glad I was able to run it!
Many congrats on your first Hellgate!
ReplyDeletefun to read! So totally amazing! Congratulations!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKimberly, this was my first Hellgate and I posted similar language in my FB post about this being 'the hardest race I've ever run.' I say that having run 100-mi races too; for some reason, between the elements and that damn 'forever section,' this turned out to be an absolute monster of a course. Congrats to ya!
ReplyDeleteKim, congratulations! I am glad I could contribute to your planning and pacing.
ReplyDelete